What can be said about the Illuminutty which already hasn't been rehashed on multitudes of conspiracy websites? These guys are so rich that they don't need any countries. They can afford their own armies, their own rocket ships, their own nuclear weapons, and their own television stations. Their names are on University buildings, football stadiums and high rise buildings. They can manipulate entire economies. You'd think that all this power and wealth would make them settle down.

But no. There's still the entire planet which needs governing. The unruly masses needed to be subjugated and so forth and so on.

It's not easy being an upwardly mobile member of the illuminutty. That's where the Tri-Lateral Commission gym comes in to play. Without the exercycles of power, how can the muscle of world domination be strengthened?

It's not cheap to join the Tri-Lateral Commission gym, which is why it's such an exclusive club. Located deep within the bowels of Cheney's bunker, it sports the latest training equipment. In addition, there are also sports teams participating in a vibrant, global intermural program.

That all being said, the Illuminutty are not simply all powerful, unrestrained, manipulators of political and social institutions.

The illuminutty are people, too.

-Elena Steier

These self serving nitwits are somehow supposed to protect us?

Usama bin Laden is illuminutty. He's been spent millions in cash pulling together his own army of disgruntled Wahhabis. One of these disgruntled fanatics somehow ended up with $130,000 from the wife of the Saudi ambassador to the United States. A complete accident, so they say, and everybody believes this because the Saudis have accidently bought a big chunk of our debt, accidentally standing with this debt like it's the pull string of a plug in the bottom of a bathtub. Meanwhile, Bush, another illuminutty, has amassed an army of contractors ready to take on terrorist countries with their eighteen wheelers, their third world sub-contractors, and their cost plus no bid government contracts.

These are two illuminutty. The Tri-Lateral Commission gym is full of them. Congressmen with ties to a certain Korean multi-billionaire who crowns himself King in the Dirkson Senate Building. Senators who are working hard to have Jesus elected. Administration hacks who have everything but the corporate logos tatooed on their heads.

Finally, the television networks are all owned by illuminutty. This brings us back around to the question of national discussion. For every pundit earnestly expounding on the need to juggle around the intelligence bureacracy, there's an illuminutty blithely paying for his very own army with funds from a Bahamian account to protect his Sierra Leonian diamond mine and run security for his Iraqi contract workers. What better way than TV punditry to fool the public into believing that government actually works?

7-23-04