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Vera Borisovna works as a hat check girl at the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym, part of the underground complex known as "Cheney's Bunker" or just "The Bunker". Recently, she joined the ranks of superheroes. We are privileged that she has agreed to let the Striporama carry her first person accounts of life as a superhero in the Bunker.

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January 8 Dear Computer, Richard Perle has given me the job of shaking down reluctant legislators who might not support his vision of "A world at peace; a world governed by law; a world in which all peoples are free to find their own destinies: That dream has not yet come true, but if it ever does come true, it will be brought into being by American might and defended by American might, too." "Cough up the money for Perle's dream," I say until they start agreeing to almost anything. I can be really convincing when I want to be. January 6 Dear Computer, While flying through the Bunker on Orange Alert duty, that is, finding things to cover up with my orange blanket, I stopped to check out The Black Perle's headquarters on the corner of Bush 41 and Bush 43. He came out and told me that I was wasting my time being the hat check girl at the gym, and I'd do a lot better working for him. I asked him how much he'd pay me, and he told me that he'd make me rich on stock options. We shook hands. I start work tomorrow. January 4 Dear Computer, Like every caped crusader, The Black Perle set up his very own secret headquarters where his government funded activites could proceed in peace and quiet. Built by the Balrog, Frown and Boot division of the Pallihurton Corporation, the building itself is on the corner of Bush 41 and Bush 43 in Cheney's Bunker. There's a Chinese deli nearby and a store owned by Turks that sells Persian rugs. Down the street a bit is a Pallihurton outlet where currently there's a warhead sale in progress. The Black Perle picked up a few thousand on the way to his first day at work at his new headquarters. "I'll sell them to a few of my intergalactic shell companies before having the government buy them to use in their war agains the space aliens," he was probably thinking, because in the end, that's just what he did. January 3 Dear Computer, Richard Perle has been given the job of subduing the heathen on a planet in a distant galaxy by his cohort, the Wolfowitch. In his capacity as cohort, he has assumed the identity of The Black Perle, lover of democracy, large contracts, and shady nogoodnick arms dealers. To get in shape for his task, he has had a treadmill outfitted with the latest military technology, allowing him to target ugly green aliens from the comfort of the Tri-Lateral gym. Lynne Cheney and Joe Lieberman were so delighted with the machine, that they had similar ones custom made for themselves. Now when you walk by the gym, it sounds a lot like a video arcade, except, of course, the sound is of real weapons.