Elena Steier, Cartoonist

Vera Borisovna recently began working as a hat check girl at the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym. As you know, the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym is part of the underground complex known as "The Shadow Government", or as the people who are members there refer to it, "Cheney's Bunker" or just "The Bunker". Previously, she had been waitressing at her parents' West Hartford Restaurant, Le Metropol. Known more for its money laundering than for its supposedly Russian Cuisine, Le Metropol closed shop when Vera's grandmother drowned in the Borscht under very mysterious circumstances.

November 12

Dear Computer,

It's not like I want another job or anything, but I've taken to reading the classifieds. That's where my local paper keeps all the juicy stories about local corruption and the latest Iraqi bombing.

You'd think that the sensational stuff would go on the front page where it might sell some copy. But I don't think newspapers think that way anymore.

November 11

Dear Computer,

Orrin Hatch came in today, with yet another way to make everybody do what he wants them to do. Thank goodness he's a senator and not a trainer.

We've come to appreciate the Federalist lawyers around here for the intolerant but rather polite folk that they are. But today, after Mr. Hatch had just finished apologizing for demolishing my Tom Jones mp3-loaded Pentium computer, I couldn't take it anylonger.

"Tom Hicks owns nine hundred radio stations," I said, "and each of them plays a regular rotation of songs by Free Market Forces, the worst band in the history of the universe, and you're blaming me for the sad state of the music industry?"

November 10

Dear Computer,

Bill Frist and Carl Levin had a huge fight on the floor of the Weight Training room. At times, they were so incomprehensible, that all I could make out was the word "leak" shouted again and again.

Of course, all of this stems from the intelligence committee looking into the Weapons of Mass Destruction issue. Hmmm...was the intelligence wrong or was it being manipulated? The Republicans are dead set against the intelligence being manipulated, so they're manipulating the committee report to reflect that. Meanwhile, a memo was leaked showing that the Democrats know they're being manipulated, but they are planning to manipulate the Republicans in return. How dare they! And then in a pique of anger, majority leader manipulated to shut down the committee, pending such time as the Democrats hand over the name of the perp who wrote the memo stating that the Republicans are manipulating the charge of intelligence manipulation to reflect that there was no manipulation. Meanwhile, no one's quite learned the name of the administration official who precipitated the outing of CIA agent Mrs. Joseph Wilson by Robert Novak, clearly meant to manipulate public sentiment against Mr. Wilson by calling it a case of nepotism and influence peddling that he was asked to investigate the claim of Nigerian uranium sales to Iraq.

Intelligence isn't what I'd call among politicians' strongpoints.

November 9

Dear Computer,

There are a few guys around here who work for the present Bush administration, but who were also connected to the Reagan administration.

Boy, are they happy that CBS cancelled the made-for-TV Reagan Biographical movie. Not that in the movie there might be the mention of the Iran/Contra scandal of which they played a part. No, they are happy because the former president, mentally incapacitated by Alzheimer's, might have had his feelings hurt.