Vera Borisovna used to work as a hat check girl at the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym, part of the underground complex known as "Cheney's Bunker" or just "The Bunker". Recently, she joined the ranks of superheroes. As such, she was hired by Richard Perle, aka "The Black Perle" to shake down legislators to pay for his vision of world democracy. Recently, she has begun working as the anchor for the "Superhero News" on CNN. We are privileged that she has agreed to let the Striporama carry her first person accounts of life in the Bunker.
February 6

Dear Computer,

I know everyone's bent out of shape about this Iraqi Scientist, A Q Khan who has been running a Walmart type outfit for weapons of mass destruction, but business is business. Here in the bunker, his ads have been playing for years.

"Come on Down!" he says in his thick accent.

February 4

Dear Computer,

I told the Black Perle that we needed something literary to compete with C-Span Booknotes. So the next thing I know, I'm the host of a brand new program called "The Fiction Hour". I read from Annual reports and SEC filings, making sure to include all the footnotes, which are actually more fun than the actual tome.

February 2

Dear Computer,

Condi Rice has gotten her own cooking show on our network! Every week, she brings her considerable foreign policy expertise into the kitchen where she cooks up another Democracy.

Condi's great! She takes all the fuss and worry out of making democracy. Why, even I could do it!

January 31

Dear Computer,

I've started supplementing my meager salary as anchorwoman of The Superhero News by doing infommercials.

Today, there were some conservatives complaining that Bush's healthcare plan was going to cost a third more than they had said. This put the estimated deficit for fiscal 2005 at 540 million dollars. Fortunately, the whiz kids at Black Perle labs have cooked up this nifty memory blocking gun just in time for this nasty turn of affairs.

"Just put the gun to your head and shoot," goes my spiel. "and the spending can go on forever..."

Crazy Mama Productions

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