---

December 15 Dear Computer, Today, I was paid to pose in Governor Rowland's Hot Tub. It's become quite the celebrity item here in the gym. The cleintele are quite fascinated with how someone like Rowland, whose entire gubanatorial tenure in the State of Connecticut has been plagued by multi-million dollar acts of graft and corruption, could be tripped up by a hot tub. It's one of life's great mysteries, I guess.

---

December 12 Dear Computer, I've been a superhero for all of four days, but nothing beats George Soros when it comes to having superpowers. He landed on the roof of the gym today using nothing but an umbrella. Instead of a utility belt, he has a big old carpet bag full of very effective goodies. I suppose it might be of some help to the readers of this blog to say a few words about the Bunker. I keep forgetting that it's a top secret kind of place. The word "bunker" probably conjures up a dark, dreary cement structure. Nothing could be further from the truth. The best way to imagine the bunker is to think of Times Square lights and pizazz stretching for miles in all directions, but entirely underground.

---

December 9

Dear Computer,

A lot of the Jewish members of the Tri-Lateral Commission gym like to work out in the Hollinger wing. This is an ultra swanky part of the facility, where all the trainers are guaranteed Mossad agents and the little cafeteria there serves only the kosherest foods.

Well, after this whole Ann Coulter business, I decided to take a walk over to the Hollinger wing to have a tete a tete with my best friend, Maya. She's a waitress there. I just let my entire aggravation out in one long tirade. Maya listened patiently, then put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Girl, what we need to do is to form our own supergroup."

"Like Free Market Forces?" I asked, not quite getting the jist of what she was telling me.

"No," she said, "like Mossad, but smaller. Think of it, we can be secret champions of good, right here in the Bunker."

---

December 8 Dear Computer, Well, Ann Coulter hacked my site last week, but I forced her off by hacking into HER computer, uploading the song "Lufkin, Jenrette, Martin and John" by Free Market Forces so it played over and over again every time she pressed the shift key. Reluctantly, she removed her cartoons from my site and I replaced the Free Market Forces song with Beethoven's ninth symphony. As everyone knows, Free Market Forces is THE worst band in the entire universe, but they're number one, five and seventeen on the charts. This might have something to do with the fact that they are managed by Tom Hicks, who owns nine hundred some odd Clear Channel radio stations. Therefore, despite the really annoying sounds they make, Free Market Forces have been put in regular rotation on prominent radio stations throughout the country.