August 11, 2004
Dear Computer,
It turns out that Tommy Franks was the architect of the "end of major combat in Iraq" presidential spectacle on the USS Abraham Lincoln on May 2, 2003.
What is not known is that Franks regularly practices landing techniques with the president here in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym. There's a machine called "The Dubya-Flex" which simulates a number of different landings. Franks selects a number on a gauge, slips the president into one or another harness, and then begins rotating a large wheel.
The president's training goes on throughout the year, no doubt in expectation for more announcements of cessation of hostilities throughout the world. He wants to be, after all, a peace president.
August 6, 2004
Dear Computer,
The Reverand Robert Upton of the Apostolic Congress has been helping George Bush train for the Rapture in the Tri-Lateral Commission gym. Remarkably, no one has noticed that the Presidential seal of the President's own personal equipment has been replaced by that of the Apostolic Congress. Well, no matter, the president's agenda and that of the good Reverand match up exactly.
"Pump them wings harder...for a theocratical America!"
"Remember, when the Jew Boys die, you've got to fly!"
"No Jews in Gaza! No Jews in Gaza! We fulfil the prophesy for the la Christian raza!"
"Fight the heathen Moslem hordes!"
"Pump them wings like you're pumping that oil!"
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Dear Computer, It turns out that Tommy Franks was the architect of the "end of major combat in Iraq" presidential spectacle on the USS Abraham Lincoln on May 2, 2003. What is not known is that Franks regularly practices landing techniques with the president here in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym. There's a machine called "The Dubya-Flex" which simulates a number of different landings. Franks selects a number on a gauge, slips the president into one or another harness, and then begins rotating a large wheel. The president's training goes on throughout the year, no doubt in expectation for more announcements of cessation of hostilities throughout the world. He wants to be, after all, a peace president. |
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Dear Computer, The Reverand Robert Upton of the Apostolic Congress has been helping George Bush train for the Rapture in the Tri-Lateral Commission gym. Remarkably, no one has noticed that the Presidential seal of the President's own personal equipment has been replaced by that of the Apostolic Congress. Well, no matter, the president's agenda and that of the good Reverand match up exactly. "Pump them wings harder...for a theocratical America!" "Remember, when the Jew Boys die, you've got to fly!" "No Jews in Gaza! No Jews in Gaza! We fulfil the prophesy for the la Christian raza!" "Fight the heathen Moslem hordes!" "Pump them wings like you're pumping that oil!" |
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