Vera Borisovna works as a hat check girl at the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym, part of the underground complex known as "Cheney's Bunker" where the illuminutty ride the exercycles of power. We are privileged that she has agreed to let the Striporama carry her first person accounts of life in the Bunker.
June 30, 2004
Dear Computer,
On May 23 of this year, Rev. Sun Myung Moon had himself officially coronated as the Messiah in a ceremony which took place in the Dirkson Senate Office Building.
Well, today the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym received the official coronation picture, mounted and framed in an understated gilded frame.
For a couple of old farts, the Moons are in terrific shape. This is because they work out here in the gym at least three times a week.
June 28, 2004
Dear Computer,
For the past few years, Ken Lay has been trying to escape his persecuters by peddling his exercycle twice as hard as anyone in the gym. Likewise, a federal marshall has been peddling the exercycle behind him like a latter day lawman from the old west. I always thought this strange, but now I realize that even the laws of physics don't apply to the illuminutty. This is because today, the marshall finally caught up to him.
"You're going down," the marshall sneered.
Lay took the blame for what happened at Enron except for anything that might be considered criminal. He claimed that was all someone else's fault. It reminds me of the Christians in Karl Rove's Replacement Theology exercise class. There, the participants use sharpies to replace the word "Jew" with "Christian" in the bible as they do leg lifts and sit ups. They make exceptions only for the bad parts where God is all pissed off and stuff. Then a Jew remains a Jew.
Lay himself is the son of a Baptist Minister. Fastow, the guy he's blaming for all the criminality at Enron, is a Jew. It's just one of those small ironies which seem to wind like so many little snakes through the exercise equipment here in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym.
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Dear Computer, On May 23 of this year, Rev. Sun Myung Moon had himself officially coronated as the Messiah in a ceremony which took place in the Dirkson Senate Office Building. Well, today the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym received the official coronation picture, mounted and framed in an understated gilded frame. For a couple of old farts, the Moons are in terrific shape. This is because they work out here in the gym at least three times a week. |
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Dear Computer, For the past few years, Ken Lay has been trying to escape his persecuters by peddling his exercycle twice as hard as anyone in the gym. Likewise, a federal marshall has been peddling the exercycle behind him like a latter day lawman from the old west. I always thought this strange, but now I realize that even the laws of physics don't apply to the illuminutty. This is because today, the marshall finally caught up to him. "You're going down," the marshall sneered. Lay took the blame for what happened at Enron except for anything that might be considered criminal. He claimed that was all someone else's fault. It reminds me of the Christians in Karl Rove's Replacement Theology exercise class. There, the participants use sharpies to replace the word "Jew" with "Christian" in the bible as they do leg lifts and sit ups. They make exceptions only for the bad parts where God is all pissed off and stuff. Then a Jew remains a Jew. Lay himself is the son of a Baptist Minister. Fastow, the guy he's blaming for all the criminality at Enron, is a Jew. It's just one of those small ironies which seem to wind like so many little snakes through the exercise equipment here in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym. |
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