July 23, 2004
Dear Computer,
Ralph Reed has been spending his time working for one Indian tribe trying to screw over another Indian tribe in a gambling spat. It's kind of a weird gig for a guy who built up the Christian coalition, but then he lobbied for Enron, too. It's further proof that the way to heaven is paved with gold, and the best way to stay in shape for walking that long road to heaven is by exercising on the treadmills of power here in the Tri-Lateral Commission gym.
July 22, 2004
Dear Computer,
There's nothing Stephen Moore, president of the Club for Growth, likes than to make Rinos suffer. By Rinos, we mean "Republicans in Name Only". One of his favorite victims is Senator Olympia Snow of Maine.
The trouble as I see it with Rinos is that they are just too gullible. "Help me out with this bit of machinery," said Moore to Snowe. Before she could untangle the rope in the pulley, she was hanging by her feet, and Moore was pulling the bars to make her bob up and down.
"You unpatriotic tax and spend Franco-Republican," Moore sneered.
"You asshole," she sneered back.
July 21, 2004
Dear Computer,
It's a little known fact that Louis Freeh's biggest contribution to the FBI was the amazing Treadmill Intelligence Gathering Machine which inputted information via USB port to the incredible Screenless Notebook Computer.
It didn't improve the organization, but it looked kind of cool.
July 20, 2004
Dear Computer,
I think that the Kingdom of God probably looks something like Walmart.
I really don't know why I said that. It's just something I thought of while watching Jesus on the rowing machine this morning. He's getting in shape for the second coming.
You might remember that a few weeks ago, Dick Cheney's security forces nabbed Jesus on account of the fact that Halliburton needed to secure contracts with Iran and the Sudan in addition to the existing Iraqi contracts before any Kingdom of God is established. Since then, I think someone's struck a deal so that Halliburton gets first dibs at rebuilding the earth after the apocolypse.
God works in mysterious ways, as they say.
A little like Dick Cheney, come to think of it.
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Dear Computer, Ralph Reed has been spending his time working for one Indian tribe trying to screw over another Indian tribe in a gambling spat. It's kind of a weird gig for a guy who built up the Christian coalition, but then he lobbied for Enron, too. It's further proof that the way to heaven is paved with gold, and the best way to stay in shape for walking that long road to heaven is by exercising on the treadmills of power here in the Tri-Lateral Commission gym.
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July 22, 2004
Dear Computer, There's nothing Stephen Moore, president of the Club for Growth, likes than to make Rinos suffer. By Rinos, we mean "Republicans in Name Only". One of his favorite victims is Senator Olympia Snow of Maine. The trouble as I see it with Rinos is that they are just too gullible. "Help me out with this bit of machinery," said Moore to Snowe. Before she could untangle the rope in the pulley, she was hanging by her feet, and Moore was pulling the bars to make her bob up and down. "You unpatriotic tax and spend Franco-Republican," Moore sneered. "You asshole," she sneered back. |
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Dear Computer, It's a little known fact that Louis Freeh's biggest contribution to the FBI was the amazing Treadmill Intelligence Gathering Machine which inputted information via USB port to the incredible Screenless Notebook Computer. It didn't improve the organization, but it looked kind of cool. |
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July 20, 2004
Dear Computer, I think that the Kingdom of God probably looks something like Walmart. I really don't know why I said that. It's just something I thought of while watching Jesus on the rowing machine this morning. He's getting in shape for the second coming. You might remember that a few weeks ago, Dick Cheney's security forces nabbed Jesus on account of the fact that Halliburton needed to secure contracts with Iran and the Sudan in addition to the existing Iraqi contracts before any Kingdom of God is established. Since then, I think someone's struck a deal so that Halliburton gets first dibs at rebuilding the earth after the apocolypse. God works in mysterious ways, as they say. A little like Dick Cheney, come to think of it. |
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