Vera Borisovna works as a hat check girl at the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym, part of the underground complex known as "Cheney's Bunker" or just "The Bunker". Recently, she joined the ranks of superheroes as well. congratulations, Vera! We are privileged that she has agreed to let the Striporama carry her first person accounts of life in the Bunker.
May 7, 2004
Dear Computer,
Inasmuch as there is a big deal being made of the torture which took place at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, it might be timely to mention that there's a part of the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym reserved for sado-masochism.
Ann Coulter is a frequent participant. Today, she nearly squeezed the living daylights out of Bob Graham, a typical liberal who has long enjoyed a mutual romp with Coulter in the torture chamber. Recently, however, the liberals have started to include such people as Bob Barr and Arlen Specter.
May 8, 2004
Dear Computer,
Karen Hughes has just about as much love and respect for Muslims as any of the neocons who spend time in the Tri-Lateral Gym.
She ministers to the poor unfortunate muslim souls who find themselves in a session with Ann Coulter.
Karen has a very nice, motherly side to her nature. She once said "Let's be reasonable, let's work to value life, let's reduce the number of abortions, let's increase adoptions. And I think those are the kinds of policies the American people can support, particularly at a time when we're facing an enemy and, really, the fundamental issue between us and the terror network we fight is that we value every life."
May 9, 2004
Dear Computer,
Richard Perle comes to the Gym with a Seymour Hersh mask. He'll put it on another client's head and that way the guy becomes "a terrorist" who needs "interrogation."
Recently, I've noticed a few more "terrorist" masks cropping up: Ted Koppel, Chris Matthews, Andrea Mitchell, Paul Krugman, and Frank Rich. Come to think of it, there are masks of the entire New York Times Editorial staff here in the gym.
May 10, 2004
Dear Computer,
Elaine Chao enjoys working with anonymous worker types from whom she's recently rescinded overtime pay in her capacity as Secretary of Labor. Her best lines are "Hey, asshole, I'm not humiliating you. You're embarassing yourself. Stop whimpering. Take your beatings like a man."
May 11, 2004
Dear Computer,
Rodney Paige comes down to administer punishment to terrorist members of the National Education Association. By terrorist, he means any teachers who might question, say, the No Child Left Behind Act, or the validity of the Houston Miracle.
"God save this poor sinful soul," Paige cries as he slaps up another terrorist.
And the proper reply is always,"Yes, ma'am, please slap my left behind."
May 12, 2004
Dear Computer,
Laura Bush is the perfect wife. Virtuous, good in the kitchen, she comes to the gym to show off her best attributes as first lady.
"Hey, look, I've whipped up something French," she laughs.
May 13, 2004
Dear Computer,
Recently, Zell Miller has started giving rope tying lessons to other Democrats here in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym.
Nancy Pelosi always gamely plays a pretty good victim.
"Go ahead boys, do what you want." And they usually do.
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Dear Computer, Inasmuch as there is a big deal being made of the torture which took place at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, it might be timely to mention that there's a part of the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym reserved for sado-masochism. Ann Coulter is a frequent participant. Today, she nearly squeezed the living daylights out of Bob Graham, a typical liberal who has long enjoyed a mutual romp with Coulter in the torture chamber. Recently, however, the liberals have started to include such people as Bob Barr and Arlen Specter. |
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Dear Computer, Karen Hughes has just about as much love and respect for Muslims as any of the neocons who spend time in the Tri-Lateral Gym. She ministers to the poor unfortunate muslim souls who find themselves in a session with Ann Coulter. Karen has a very nice, motherly side to her nature. She once said "Let's be reasonable, let's work to value life, let's reduce the number of abortions, let's increase adoptions. And I think those are the kinds of policies the American people can support, particularly at a time when we're facing an enemy and, really, the fundamental issue between us and the terror network we fight is that we value every life." |
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Dear Computer, Richard Perle comes to the Gym with a Seymour Hersh mask. He'll put it on another client's head and that way the guy becomes "a terrorist" who needs "interrogation." Recently, I've noticed a few more "terrorist" masks cropping up: Ted Koppel, Chris Matthews, Andrea Mitchell, Paul Krugman, and Frank Rich. Come to think of it, there are masks of the entire New York Times Editorial staff here in the gym. |
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Dear Computer, Elaine Chao enjoys working with anonymous worker types from whom she's recently rescinded overtime pay in her capacity as Secretary of Labor. Her best lines are "Hey, asshole, I'm not humiliating you. You're embarassing yourself. Stop whimpering. Take your beatings like a man." |
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Dear Computer, Rodney Paige comes down to administer punishment to terrorist members of the National Education Association. By terrorist, he means any teachers who might question, say, the No Child Left Behind Act, or the validity of the Houston Miracle. "God save this poor sinful soul," Paige cries as he slaps up another terrorist. And the proper reply is always,"Yes, ma'am, please slap my left behind." |
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Dear Computer, Laura Bush is the perfect wife. Virtuous, good in the kitchen, she comes to the gym to show off her best attributes as first lady. "Hey, look, I've whipped up something French," she laughs. |
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Dear Computer, Recently, Zell Miller has started giving rope tying lessons to other Democrats here in the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym. Nancy Pelosi always gamely plays a pretty good victim. "Go ahead boys, do what you want." And they usually do. |
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