Vera Borisovna works as a hat check girl at the Tri-Lateral Commission Gym, part of the underground complex known as "Cheney's Bunker" or just "The Bunker". Recently, she joined the ranks of superheroes as well. congratulations, Vera! We are privileged that she has agreed to let the Striporama carry her first person accounts of life in the Bunker.
April 29, 2004
Dear Computer,
Well, I'm back here at the Tri-Lateral Commission gym. I came just in time to witness Senate Majority leader Bill Frist giving Senate Minority leader Tom Daschle the biggest wedgie ever.
Tennessee Senator Frist is giving heavy bucks to Daschle's South Dakota opponent. I guess Frist feels that Daschle needs physical needling as well, but Daschle's no slouch himself. He took Frist's tie and gave it a yank.
You might ask yourself, how can these guys make legislation when they're pounding the crap out of each other.
The answer is they can't.
May1, 2004
Dear Computer,
"We do not seek to impose democracy on others, we seek only to help create conditions in which people can claim a freer future for themselves," said Condoleezza Rice the other day as she knitted one of her very popular kevlar freedom vests.
I found a letter that a Halliburton employee sent to Condoleezza Rice. Here's what it said:
Dear Ms. Rice,
Bless you from the bottom of my heart. As I created the conditions for freedom the other day, strafing blindly with my AK-47 so those muslim bastards wouldn't torch my convoy, I thought thank God our presidents' National Security Advisor is keeping me safe with this hand knit Kevlar Freedom Vest. When this godless country finally has a Christian president, we'll have you to thank for it. God bless America.
Yours,
Bobby Joe Redneck
May 2, 2004
Dear Computer,
Paul Wolfowitz has a predeliction for voodoo dolls. His punching holes in the bottom of muslim effigies, however, did not take into account the fact that in Voodoo, all evil magick comes back to haunt the magician.
Take for example the recent revelations of abuse by coalition forces of Iraqi prisoners. Coupled with the withdrawal of our troops from Fallujah, giving the reigns of military occupation to a former member of Saddam's regime, this can only mean one thing. Rather than bring democracy to Iraq, his voodoo has brought something else.
Embarassingly bad p.r.
May 4, 2004
Dear Computer,
With things worsening in Iraq and the entire peace process in Israel at a complete dead end, it's no wonder Wolf Blitzer and his fellow reporters have taken to criticizing Bush opponent John Kerry for not standing up for himself.
"Give us something other than the war to report on, damn you!" yelled Blitzer as he kicked John Kerry in the behind.
"Can't you see you're being outmaneuvered? We want NEWS and we want it NOW!"
|
Dear Computer, Well, I'm back here at the Tri-Lateral Commission gym. I came just in time to witness Senate Majority leader Bill Frist giving Senate Minority leader Tom Daschle the biggest wedgie ever. Tennessee Senator Frist is giving heavy bucks to Daschle's South Dakota opponent. I guess Frist feels that Daschle needs physical needling as well, but Daschle's no slouch himself. He took Frist's tie and gave it a yank. You might ask yourself, how can these guys make legislation when they're pounding the crap out of each other. The answer is they can't. |
|
|
Dear Computer, "We do not seek to impose democracy on others, we seek only to help create conditions in which people can claim a freer future for themselves," said Condoleezza Rice the other day as she knitted one of her very popular kevlar freedom vests. I found a letter that a Halliburton employee sent to Condoleezza Rice. Here's what it said: Dear Ms. Rice, Bless you from the bottom of my heart. As I created the conditions for freedom the other day, strafing blindly with my AK-47 so those muslim bastards wouldn't torch my convoy, I thought thank God our presidents' National Security Advisor is keeping me safe with this hand knit Kevlar Freedom Vest. When this godless country finally has a Christian president, we'll have you to thank for it. God bless America. Yours, Bobby Joe Redneck |
|
Dear Computer, Paul Wolfowitz has a predeliction for voodoo dolls. His punching holes in the bottom of muslim effigies, however, did not take into account the fact that in Voodoo, all evil magick comes back to haunt the magician. Take for example the recent revelations of abuse by coalition forces of Iraqi prisoners. Coupled with the withdrawal of our troops from Fallujah, giving the reigns of military occupation to a former member of Saddam's regime, this can only mean one thing. Rather than bring democracy to Iraq, his voodoo has brought something else. Embarassingly bad p.r. |
|
|
Dear Computer, With things worsening in Iraq and the entire peace process in Israel at a complete dead end, it's no wonder Wolf Blitzer and his fellow reporters have taken to criticizing Bush opponent John Kerry for not standing up for himself. "Give us something other than the war to report on, damn you!" yelled Blitzer as he kicked John Kerry in the behind. "Can't you see you're being outmaneuvered? We want NEWS and we want it NOW!" |
Crazy Mama Productions
PO Box 270979
West Hartford, CT 06127-0979